Saturday, April 29, 2006
me.
yo. i've decided dat since harry has alr exposed it 2 calvin tan and most of the sec2s, i might aswell put it up here. KGC productions is currently working on an anakin vs. obi-wan remake, utilising the blue-screen room of our school which lies on the 6th florr of the art block. choreography is alr underway, and we are currently asking around for a hair and make-up team. hence, anyone hu has relatively decent experience in these areas plz give me a heads-up yea? we are also looking for anyone able to replicate the mustafar arena in 3d bcos we dun wanna use the ones frm the film for fear of being sued of our asses. :) as usual, gimme a heads-up on the tagboard, k? yea.
haiz... wad can i say? exams are a week away, and we're still training fer anakin vs obi-wan. i'm still looking fer someone 2 play padme. i've been trying 2 get into character and 2 force myself 2 cry. it hasn't exactly been difficult considering all dat has been happening the past few weeks. she has decided not 2 talk to me at all for some reason which i am currently oblivious to. seriously. it's not dat hard 2 imagine. i'm getting worried dat if i get too much into character, i'll actually end up killing him. thus, i have upgraded the training (read:bamboo) sticks 2 have impact resistance (read: masking tape) they are now softer, stronger, and heavier.
i'm starting 2 feel dat nth i do is ever ryte. hence, i gotta rely on dramatising everything 2 boost my self-esteem in this time of desperation. everything is hanging on at it's peak of depression. i need closure 2 so many things.
i so totally made a fucking fool of myself at nicole's birthday lunch ytd. believe me, i was eating cake through a straw. it actually works thoguh, juz dat by the time i finish, the whole cake would have generated mould with it's own society.
i think i'm causing some of my frends 2 worry about my sanity ryte now. i juz went suddenly silent on harry ytd. i guess it's cos something reminded me of her and i got so damn pissed and confused dat i stopped talking entirely. i juz took up a training saber, turned my mp3 to star wars songs and started moving. it was weird, letting the music guide my hand.
i injured myself countless times as i found out later dat night, but i guess adrenaline caused me 2 negate the pain. i found myself wondering how i got so many injuries on my arms, my forehead, my hands. it's damn stressful ryte now lah. i'm hoping i'll be able 2 get my force fx saber soon. although i have like, $277 dollars more to save.
http://img86.imageshack.us/my.php?image=imageload7fm.jpg
np is becoming more and more of a chore to me. to have to go fer parades where noone bothers 2 say a fuckign thing 2 me is juz downright gay. fer fuck's sake. it was onli 50 push-ups. i alr admitted i was wrong. yea. it was my fault. i kept them back. i neglected the bags. it was all my fault. i wish i was back in p6 where it was the peak of my life. everything was ryte. i finally knew what it was like to be perfect. but i took advantage of that time. i became arrogant. uptight. i came 2 vs, decided 2 humble myself, found out everyone here was pretty much as much of an asshole. ironic, isn't it?
i now pray not onli fer my frends and fer my exams. but also for her forgiveness or at least 2 tell me wth i did wrong. i hate being told i'm wrong and not knowing y. yet, for some reason, i hate myself fer not knowing. i gotta go punch something now. peace out.
i am who i am. not who you make me out to be.
i rub my eyes
most of the day.
i don't know y.
i don't want to.
then maybe i do.
painful as it would be.
ignorance is not bliss.
she hates me now.
refusing to say a word.
cutting connections.
i don't know y.
i don't want to.
i suspect i know.
rude as it would be to assume,
i hate him.
i didn't lie,
i didn't cheat.
i'm not a bad person.
simply, different.
i don't know y.
i don't want to.
i am who i am.
not who u make me out to be.
accept me fer who or what.
please.
haiz... wad can i say? exams are a week away, and we're still training fer anakin vs obi-wan. i'm still looking fer someone 2 play padme. i've been trying 2 get into character and 2 force myself 2 cry. it hasn't exactly been difficult considering all dat has been happening the past few weeks. she has decided not 2 talk to me at all for some reason which i am currently oblivious to. seriously. it's not dat hard 2 imagine. i'm getting worried dat if i get too much into character, i'll actually end up killing him. thus, i have upgraded the training (read:bamboo) sticks 2 have impact resistance (read: masking tape) they are now softer, stronger, and heavier.
i'm starting 2 feel dat nth i do is ever ryte. hence, i gotta rely on dramatising everything 2 boost my self-esteem in this time of desperation. everything is hanging on at it's peak of depression. i need closure 2 so many things.
i so totally made a fucking fool of myself at nicole's birthday lunch ytd. believe me, i was eating cake through a straw. it actually works thoguh, juz dat by the time i finish, the whole cake would have generated mould with it's own society.
i think i'm causing some of my frends 2 worry about my sanity ryte now. i juz went suddenly silent on harry ytd. i guess it's cos something reminded me of her and i got so damn pissed and confused dat i stopped talking entirely. i juz took up a training saber, turned my mp3 to star wars songs and started moving. it was weird, letting the music guide my hand.
i injured myself countless times as i found out later dat night, but i guess adrenaline caused me 2 negate the pain. i found myself wondering how i got so many injuries on my arms, my forehead, my hands. it's damn stressful ryte now lah. i'm hoping i'll be able 2 get my force fx saber soon. although i have like, $277 dollars more to save.
http://img86.imageshack.us/my.php?image=imageload7fm.jpg
np is becoming more and more of a chore to me. to have to go fer parades where noone bothers 2 say a fuckign thing 2 me is juz downright gay. fer fuck's sake. it was onli 50 push-ups. i alr admitted i was wrong. yea. it was my fault. i kept them back. i neglected the bags. it was all my fault. i wish i was back in p6 where it was the peak of my life. everything was ryte. i finally knew what it was like to be perfect. but i took advantage of that time. i became arrogant. uptight. i came 2 vs, decided 2 humble myself, found out everyone here was pretty much as much of an asshole. ironic, isn't it?
i now pray not onli fer my frends and fer my exams. but also for her forgiveness or at least 2 tell me wth i did wrong. i hate being told i'm wrong and not knowing y. yet, for some reason, i hate myself fer not knowing. i gotta go punch something now. peace out.
i am who i am. not who you make me out to be.
i rub my eyes
most of the day.
i don't know y.
i don't want to.
then maybe i do.
painful as it would be.
ignorance is not bliss.
she hates me now.
refusing to say a word.
cutting connections.
i don't know y.
i don't want to.
i suspect i know.
rude as it would be to assume,
i hate him.
i didn't lie,
i didn't cheat.
i'm not a bad person.
simply, different.
i don't know y.
i don't want to.
i am who i am.
not who u make me out to be.
accept me fer who or what.
please.
the secret to life is to enjoy the pleasure of being terribly, terribly, deceived.-oscar wilde9:38 PM
0 but WHY am I here?
0 but WHY am I here?